The Archies Is Average

Let's paint a picture shall we?

Imagine you are someone who grew up in the late 2000's and 2010's watching classic movies like 'Zindegi Na Milegi Dobara' and 'Dil Dhadakne Do'. Now imagine finding out that the same talented director was behind both these wonderful feel-good films. Naturally, you'd be waiting for their next film with eager eyes and ears right? 

Well, that's the exact position I was in last year when I discovered while scrolling on Netflix that Zoya Akhtar had a new film up her sleeves. Absolute excitement. Keep in mind this would be her first movie in 2-3 years after Gully Boy and her TV show Made in Heaven (with only the one season at the time), which were both equally successful and well-done at the same time. What could go wrong? 

Apparently a lot. And this section isn't about the movie. Oh, we'll get there. The marketing of the movie was already privy to mixed reactions. Coming from similarly happy and excited Zoya fans and skeptical movie goers and internet critics who were not-so happy regarding the casting. It probably had some to do with the fact that everyone playing the lead roles was someone's daughter and not actually an unknown actor as expected in the traditional sense. I'll admit, I too was worried about this as most of them have never had a role before this and let's face it, got this role through connections and not credibility. But I was willing to hope, for my happiness, that I was wrong and maybe just maybe, they were talented 'star kids'. However, it would still be unfair of me to point out that even if they were to be extremely talented, the stories of them casting the most brilliant actors of the lot and them all being products of nepotism stinks of bullshit. It's privilege clean and clear. 

Now, to the movie. 

The Archies is an aesthetic minefield, in the good sense. It knows what it's Riverdale looks like and the 60's vibe is cute and fun. I'd actually love to visit this Riverdale. 

This movie is just...boring? Mediocre? Bland? 

I don't even know the word to describe it. See, as a concept, I could picture it as an Archie's comic plotline. As a movie, it just feels...meh? Like saving the town park is okay I guess. And that's not me saying low-stakes plots are boring. In fact, I think they're more interesting because they allow us to see the characters more and get attached to the people. But the characters aren't well-developed either. Something tells me that the writers assumed that because the characters are well-known they could just play it safe and make them basic and we, the audience, can fill in the blanks. Maybe if they had actors who had really good charisma it would've worked but they're just not that good. They're okay and the script is okay so the end result is just okay. 

It's disappointing but the main character himself was just not very likeable and was just dumb. But see, the actual Archie is dumb but a lovable goofball. Hence why even if he wasn't always our main focus as readers, we could understand why the other characters cared and loved for him so much. Here, Archie doesn't know why politics is important (I wish I was kidding) and ends being very childish and annoying at times. But mostly just generic music guy who wants to leave his home to study music. So new and refreshing you guys!

Betty and Veronica were equally meh. Suhana Khan and Kushi Kapoor had good moments but overall they seemed stiff and kind of emotionless. The fun thing about the comics was that even though there was a little love triangle at hand, Betty and Veronica always prioritized their friendship over Archie. Here, they do that but the relationship between the girl's just don't seem that solid. They talk more about Archie than about other things and something tells me that they didn't pass the Bechdel test. Betty just seemed too passive (way more than the comics) and Veronica wasn't The Veronica Lodge we knew and loved, though we saw glimmers of that from time to time. 

Jughead was the best character, argue with the wall. Only good and consistent thing about this movie.

It just overall felt like a weird choice to adapt a beloved teen comic instead of just making an actually original teen film shedding a light to the Anglo-Indian community. Maybe they could've actually casted I don't know, actual Anglo-Indian actors to play the main cast. It felt like the safe choice and didn't have the heavy heart, comedy and love that we've come to expect from Zoya Akhtar films. That along with the sub-par acting, this was fine. But a true disappointment from a director who could've done better.

The soundtrack was fun and choreography was fun-er but maybe a little too many songs in the actual movie? 

In the end, it felt more like a lesson for the day scraped up plot from a teen tv show than a coming-of-age film. Seems Netflix is still on a mission to prove mediocrity is the future. 

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