The Most Romantic Movie Ever : The Notebook

It's time. Time to address the monster amongst, living in society not yet outed as the monstrosity it actually is. Now, that probably sounds very ominous. But if you've read any modern contemporary romance from about the early 2010's, this is right up your alley. 

That's right. We're talking bout the big guy. Nicholas Sparks himself. If you don't know him, don't worry. I would never unleash that on another human being. Just know that he wrote a lot of romance books that were popular and got movie adaptions. The popular ones being 'Forever My Girl', 'A Walk To Remember' and the most well-known one, 'The Notebook'. 

Now. Let's talk about The Notebook. For years, this movie was claimed to be 'the most romantic movie of all time'. And as I'm sure you'll agree, those are huge shoes to fill. Also, just in general, a very high sell for a movie to make. The problem was that that was a lie. It wasn't. 

Let's start with the things that it actually was. A movie with a solid cast. And actors who had solid chemistry. Notice the distinction being the actors and not the characters. There's only so much Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams could do, bless their hearts for trying. And James Marsden gets his flowers for being the second lead, and the best one at that. (Justice for Lon!) That's pretty much all the good things about the movie. The acting and the actors. 

The movie begins with a blaring red flag. That's a code word for Noah, the main lead played by Ryan Gosling. He decides he's interested in Allie (McAdams) and pursues her by hanging off a Ferris wheel and threatening suicide to get a date with her. 

I wish I was joking.

I'm really feeling the romance folks. 

The two, to my dismay, end up forming a relationship over the summer. She introduces him to her parents, they don't like him. Not a shocker because he's poor (like most main leads in the 2000s and most Nicholas Sparks books) and they are not. At the end of the summer, her parents tell her that their relationship has gone on too long and it was pointless since they were leaving anyway. Hearing this, Noah decides they should take a break. And then, they physically fight. Loving it so far.

Then we get a time break. People fight in the war, become a nurse, meet James Marsden, fix a house, get engaged, and so on. 

Allie, now engaged decides, after seeing Noah's picture in the newspaper to 'get away'. Lying straight to her fiance's face and going to visit her ex. 

Allie does visit Noah, flees and then comes back when he invites her for dinner. They read poetry, flirt and reminisce about the past and then, in detail teach us how to cook crab. So, at least I have that to show for all of this nonsense. But, nothing happens, no lines are crossed...yet.

The next day, he takes her on the boat for sight-seeing and we get the geese scene. It's horrifying. There are so many geese. I don't get it and it's just something out of a horror movie. So many damn geese. Also, a fun experiment would be to watch this movie as a psychological thriller. Lots of things start clicking. 

It rains suddenly, they run onto the dock and start fighting. Because rain fights are superior. Mayhaps the writer did something with that. But it was still stupid and obviously they kiss and more importantly, Allie cheats. I'm sorry James Marsden. You deserve better. Also random side note, but Ryan Gosling looks like a stinky little farmer rat boy in this movie and it isn't cute. 

They then spending the rest of the week being useless, annoying cheaters and do like painting and stuff. Eventually, Allie gains a conscience and decides to face her problems and they fight again. Here we get the iconic 'What do you want?' line from Ryan Gosling. Again, the writer did a couple of things okay. Stuff happens and then we get our happily ever after.

There is flashforwards in the story, where older Allie has Alzheimer's and older Noah is in the same facility as her. Those parts of the movie are decent and feel like a different, better movie. Even though the Alzheimer's representation is more fictional and movie logic'ed, it's tolerable. And not half as toxic and messy as their 'younger versions' were.

All in all, it's an average movie that mostly sucks. I felt belittled, bamboozled and led astray by the people who told me this was a masterpiece. Definitely open your eyes and get help. 

The Notebook gets a 2.5/5 from me and trust me when I say that watching this movie feels like being gaslighted into thinking toxicity and manipulation is romantic. 

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